Updating My Love List

I'm in the middle of reorganizing and cleaning up my studio, moving around furniture, dusting, and sorting through a myriad of piles of stuff that until recently I just didn't have the energy to deal with. So right now, of course, though I can see the floor more than before, it's an even bigger mess than previously.

But it's all good, I'm ready for something new. I'm open to physically experiencing more again, after living mostly in my head, and I've hit a place of flow (after spending six months feeling mentally good but physically lousy - amazing what a difference good sleep can make!) that is fascinating.

And of course I'm pondering love, and now not only love for friends and family (which has been so precious for me of late), but also romantic love too, or at least right now romantic "like" or "curiosity," that delicious, "gosh, maybe?" that rears its head so suddenly and surprises you while you were paying attention to something else.

Which has me contemplating my love list. I've tried to be formal about it. I've tried Martha Beck's recommendation of writing out 100 things (she's Oprah's life coach writer for "O" and one of my favorites), but it's something I have to do in fits and starts and things occur to me. Trust me, it's not easy to do if you step back from the physical surface attributes of an ideal someone who might thrill you (though of course I'm still pretty darn sure gazing at Jude Law can't be hard to do), and instead focus on how you'd like to feel in the presence of that special someone - whether you're in the middle of grocery shopping or in the middle of making love.

But I'm pondering it afresh this weekend, mulling it over and savoring it the possibilities.