Doing Too Much

I'm so tired and yet here I am, wide awake since 5:30, having woke up from a particularly vivid dream about being on a date with someone that I decided I didn't want to be on a date with and then literally pushed out the door of my house.  Whew.  The night before that I dreamt that I went to feed my pet owl and it was almost dead, its head had fallen off!  I had apparenty forgotten to give it food and water for quite some time.

I am doing too much.  That's pretty obvious.  I just started a new demanding part time job, last weekend I hosted a non-profit event I basically organized mostly myself, and I'm in that transition time where the old obligations hadn't quite paired down yet and the new ones are firing up fast forward and I've done all I can to simply stay standing and not let a month long on and off again bout of flu wipe me out.

Actually the dream from this morning is pretty funny.  It disturbed me when I woke up, it seemed so real, so vivid and the man I was pushing out the door (because I realized we really did not have any beliefs in common - he'd told me he USED to be a liberal, but not happily anymore!) really did NOT want to be pushed out - what he wanted was to insist that it didn't matter we didn't have beliefs in common and I knew in my gut it was all about sex, or just wanting to sleep with me, and I just wasn't having any of it.  So out he went.  I'm rather proud of myself.

I'm doing too much, but I've come far in listening to myself.  I'm learning to trust my gut.   Now if I can just catch up on some sleep...