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equanimity
September 2009 
Synchronicity
Posted on Dec 28th, 2007
by 
Melissa
Melissa
"Insight does not always come to order, and there will certainly be no renaissance if you are merely trying to 'get' something for yourself." - Karen Armstrong from "The Spiral Staircase"
This morning I found out that I had an unexpected day off and that tomorrow morning a new refrigerator will replace my newly defunct one. So I decided to spend the day moving around furniture that needed to be moved around, and of course, writing. I also sent off my resume to a craig's list posting I'd been holding onto for a couple of days as I'm in need of some additional income, and bam, the response came back and it's from someone I know - not well yet, but someone I really like and wish I knew better.
I don't know about you but I'm one of those who synchronicity can send into a bit of a tizzy because I have such an active imagination of what fabulous things that "could" be. But after seven years of dancing forward in my life three steps and then sliding back two, again and again and again, because of situations I thought could be marvelous and instead fizzled to nothing, or were simply a short term gig to cover immediate expenses and then nothing more (no matter what they said when the carrot was first dangled), I do my best to keep a sense of equanimity. It's hard, but I work at it (sometimes by moving around the furniture).
The biggest lesson I seem to be learning in this phase of my life is to not be in such a hurry to get anywhere "out there" and to instead burrow down dig deep. As I write this it seems so, "no duh" that it's almost embarrassing to write, but I'll write it anyway because it's the truth for myself, and it's a truth that many many people I know or come in contact with who could use to this concept unwind their own unhappiness with as well.
Currently I'm not unhappy, just still perplexed at the messages the universe is sending me. Fortunately someone is listening and my dreams have slowed down to a pace where at least I can follow the narrative, evening if I'm not yet grasping the meaning of the content, or remembering the entire complex story line.
But yes, i've been unhappy in the past and I've both been forced to, and learned to, slow down and unwind and chill and go deeper into a more relaxed "let it be" state. But it's hard to stay there. I'm so programmed to want to succeed and do better (especially when things are economically dim) that "doing" is always one of my first compulsions when I get frightened. That's why I'm so grateful for the Internet and blogging and sites like this. I can move around the furniture and then take a break and share my thoughts online rather then taking a toothbrush and cleanser to the tile grout, or spending more and more time looking for additional part time jobs just in case.
Okay, maybe I'll still take a toothbrush to the tile grout, but just a few squares...
This morning I found out that I had an unexpected day off and that tomorrow morning a new refrigerator will replace my newly defunct one. So I decided to spend the day moving around furniture that needed to be moved around, and of course, writing. I also sent off my resume to a craig's list posting I'd been holding onto for a couple of days as I'm in need of some additional income, and bam, the response came back and it's from someone I know - not well yet, but someone I really like and wish I knew better.
I don't know about you but I'm one of those who synchronicity can send into a bit of a tizzy because I have such an active imagination of what fabulous things that "could" be. But after seven years of dancing forward in my life three steps and then sliding back two, again and again and again, because of situations I thought could be marvelous and instead fizzled to nothing, or were simply a short term gig to cover immediate expenses and then nothing more (no matter what they said when the carrot was first dangled), I do my best to keep a sense of equanimity. It's hard, but I work at it (sometimes by moving around the furniture).
The biggest lesson I seem to be learning in this phase of my life is to not be in such a hurry to get anywhere "out there" and to instead burrow down dig deep. As I write this it seems so, "no duh" that it's almost embarrassing to write, but I'll write it anyway because it's the truth for myself, and it's a truth that many many people I know or come in contact with who could use to this concept unwind their own unhappiness with as well.
Currently I'm not unhappy, just still perplexed at the messages the universe is sending me. Fortunately someone is listening and my dreams have slowed down to a pace where at least I can follow the narrative, evening if I'm not yet grasping the meaning of the content, or remembering the entire complex story line.
But yes, i've been unhappy in the past and I've both been forced to, and learned to, slow down and unwind and chill and go deeper into a more relaxed "let it be" state. But it's hard to stay there. I'm so programmed to want to succeed and do better (especially when things are economically dim) that "doing" is always one of my first compulsions when I get frightened. That's why I'm so grateful for the Internet and blogging and sites like this. I can move around the furniture and then take a break and share my thoughts online rather then taking a toothbrush and cleanser to the tile grout, or spending more and more time looking for additional part time jobs just in case.
Okay, maybe I'll still take a toothbrush to the tile grout, but just a few squares...
Access: Public
I am greatful for the joy and happines you bring to others by just being YOU!
Agian the GABA will help with stress about the grout….A faster way is hydrogen peroxide it will clean the grout without the scrubbing. The GABA will help you not to worry about the grout so much and help you to realize there are others in your life who would love your company. So spend less time on the grout and more blessing the lives around you.
The material things you feel you need will be delivered by the cargo God.
You are wonderful and perfect.
Wizzard